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We spoke to the incredible, caring and badass Tracy from Saltaire Bridal about how to address opinions on outfit choices. Tracy has worked in the wedding industry for many years, and has worked hard towards moving the industry forward with inclusive training and is forever an advocate for couples and having your day your way.
As a to-be-wed, choosing your wedding dress is one of the most exciting — and sometimes challenging — parts of wedding planning. It’s the moment when you envision yourself looking your absolute best, walking down the aisle towards your partner. For many brides and nearly weds, this means going with a traditional white or ivory gown. But what if you’re not the traditional nearly wed? What if you’re envisioning something more unique and colourful for your wedding day?
Whether it’s a bold red, soft blush, dramatic black, or any other alternative colour, choosing a wedding dress in a non-traditional hue can be a powerful expression of your individuality and style. However, if you’ve always envisioned a classic ivory dress and your mum has different expectations, explaining your choice can be tricky.
If you're navigating this challenge, don’t worry — we’ve got some advice on how to approach the conversation with your mum and why your colourful wedding dress choice is absolutely okay.
1. Start with a heartfelt conversation
Choosing an alternative wedding dress colour is a big decision, and it's normal to feel apprehensive about how others — especially your mum — might react. Start by having an open and honest conversation with her about your vision for your wedding day. Approach the topic gently and explain why you’re drawn to an alternative colour for your gown.
For example : “Mum, I’ve been thinking a lot about my wedding dress, and I want it to feel like me. I know it’s not the traditional choice, but I’ve fallen in love with a [add colour] dress because it represents who I am and how I want to feel on my special day.”
This shows her that your decision comes from a personal place, and it’s not about rejecting tradition, but embracing something that feels more authentic to you.
2. Explain the symbolism behind your choice
One of the best ways to make your mum understand your decision is by explaining why the colour resonates with you on a deeper level. For example, if you’ve chosen a red dress, it could symbolise passion, love, and confidence. If you’ve opted for a pastel shade like lavender or blush, perhaps it reflects your whimsical, romantic personality.
Use this as an explanation: “I’ve always loved [add colour] because it represents [meaning or personal connection], and I want my wedding day to reflect that part of me. It’s a way to feel truly myself, and I think it will make the day even more special.”
This can help your mum see that your choice isn’t just a random pick — it has a personal meaning that you’d like to celebrate.
3. Remind her it's about your day
As much as you love your mum and want her to be a part of this journey, remember that this is YOUR special day. Wedding traditions are beautiful, but they aren’t one-size-fits-all. A wedding dress is a deeply personal choice that represents who you are and how you want to present yourself. Remind your mum that this decision reflects your vision for your wedding and that you’re making it with care and love.
Try this : “I know this isn’t the traditional choice, but I want my dress to feel true to me. I want to look back on my wedding day and feel like I made a choice that was completely my own. It’s about celebrating who I am and how I feel.”
When she understands that this choice is about your own vision and happiness, she may start to see it in a more positive light.
4. Acknowledge her concerns, but stand firm in your decision
Your mum’s reaction may come from a place of love, tradition, or even a desire to see you “fit in” with what’s expected. It’s important to acknowledge her feelings and reassure her that you appreciate her input. But also, gently stand firm in your decision.
Try this “I completely understand why you might be surprised by my choice. I know you’ve always imagined me in a traditional white dress. But this is what feels right for me, and I hope you can support me in that.”
This approach shows respect for her opinions while gently reinforcing that your decision is final.
5. Show her examples of beautiful, non-traditional dresses
Sometimes, showing rather than telling can help your mum understand where you’re coming from. Share examples of beautiful alternative wedding dresses that are modern, stylish, and show the potential of colour in bridal fashion. This can help her see that wedding dresses don’t have to be traditional to be beautiful or elegant.
For example: “I know this might be a bit different, but there are so many beautiful dresses in colours like blush, champagne, and even black that look stunning. Here are a few examples I found — they’re just as elegant, but they also feel so personal.”
You might even consider bringing her to Saltaire Bridal as a boutique that specialises in alternative or coloured wedding dresses so she can see firsthand how these dresses can still be elegant, classy, and beautiful.
6. Explain the freedom of personal expression
For many brides, their wedding dress is a way to make a statement about their personal style, creativity, and individuality. If you’ve chosen an alternative colour, it’s likely because you want your wedding day to reflect who you are in a way that feels authentic to you. Remind your mums that today’s brides are embracing diverse styles, and there’s no single way to celebrate love.
You may say:“Today’s weddings are all about personal expression. I want my dress to show the world who I am, and that includes wearing something that truly resonates with me, not just tradition.”
Let her know that it’s your way of making your wedding day stand out and truly feel like it belongs to you.
7. Reassure her you still value tradition in other ways
If your mum is really attached to the idea of tradition, reassure her that you’re still honouring important traditions in other aspects of your wedding. Perhaps you’re keeping a family heirloom, following the traditional ceremony, or planning to wear something old, new, borrowed, and blue. Showing that you’re still incorporating traditions can help ease her worries.
Use this: “I know the colour of my dress isn’t traditional, but I still plan to keep other traditions, like wearing something old and something blue. I want to honour our family and our customs in other meaningful ways.”
8. Remind her that it's your unique day
Lastly, remind your mum that your wedding day is unique to you as a couple. It’s a day that reflects your love, personality, and story — and your choice of dress colour is part of that. While traditions are lovely, they should never overshadow what makes your wedding day your day.
Try this: “Our wedding is about celebrating who we are as a couple and who I am as a person. I want to wear a dress that feels true to me and makes me feel incredible. This is my moment, and I hope you’ll understand and support me in making this choice.”
Celebrate your style
Choosing an alternative wedding dress colour is an empowering and personal decision. You want your dress to reflect your personality, your love story, and your sense of self. While it’s natural for your mum or future mother-in-law to have concerns — especially if she’s more attached to tradition — approaching the conversation with love, respect, and clarity will help her understand your vision. And in the end, she’ll likely come to see that your unique colour choice makes your wedding day all the more memorable.
No matter what, remember this: Your wedding day is about YOU. Embrace your individuality and wear the dress that makes you feel absolutely beautiful!
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